Adjourning

This week, I learned about the group development, which includes five stages, that is, forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning (Abudi, 2010). Now I am experiencing the adjourning stage in which our ECLC2 team plan and performance for Chinese New Year came to an end. In this teamwork, I found that the high-performing groups are hardest to leave. In our ECLC2 high-performing group, we had been working hard to gradually have clear communication among all members, to come up with new ideas about activities for Chinese New Year, to solve problems or conflicts in a peaceful and effective way, to value different perspectives to be inclusive, to build up positive and supportive working relationships, and so on. We have been a strong team and I am sure it is hard for this team to say good-bye. We are lucky that even we finished this Chinese New Year project, we still have several months to work with each other on another projects until this schooling year ends. Last Friday, the last day of the Chinese New Year project, the team members went out for dinner to celebrate our accomplishment. We talked about our thoughts about this project, the fun and happy things that happened during this project, the conflicts we experienced, and so on. It was a nice gathering for ending this project and we wish for another project to come since we enjoyed working with each other.

When thinking about adjourning from the group of colleagues I have formed while working on my master's degree in this program, I feel sad but happy, a very mixed feeling. I feel sad because I have to say goodbye to my colleagues who have been sharing great insights and who I am growing together with; happy because it will be time for us to celebrate what we will have learned and grown to be. I hope we can still maintain our relationships even this program ends so that we can keep learning from each other. 

This adjourning stage is an essential stage of teamwork. It means an end and another beginning. It is an end for members to learn from the past and a beginning to move on different directions. As stated, "The group members reflect on their accomplishments and failures as well as determine whether the group will disassemble or take on another project (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, pp.258)."

References:

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Conflict Resolution Skills

The conflict that I am currently experiencing is the one between my father and me about my future. In his perspective, I, now 27 years old, should have got married. He worries about me, thinking that it would be hard for me to get married when my age reaches 30 because in my hometown people usually get married early. In my perspective, I want to marry someone that I love and loves me; I do not want to marry just for marriage.

 

As for this conflict or conflicts like this, I think some of the principles of nonviolent communication (NVC) and the 3R's can be adopted at the same time to resolve the conflict more productively. I would first express my respect for his perspective because I know he cares about me. Then I would choose to tell my father how I feel about and what I actually need for marriage. To be reciprocal and responsive to his concern, I would make a request, asking him to relieve himself a little and I would be more active in my marriage.

When I ask my colleagues in my workplace about how they have learned to be more effective communicators as it relates to conflict resolution skills, they shares some insights. First, we should listen carefully to others' thinking without interrupting to express our own ideas. Second, we should respect for different modes of thinking due to cultural differences. Third, when conflicts occur, instead of fighting for our own perspective, we should try to put ourselves in others' place to experience what kind of feelings others might have and be open to discuss about it to find a better way and a common ground to resolve the conflict.